Disorder in the Court

Another one of those forwarded emails. These are supposedly taken from a book called "Disorder in the Court" and are all things that were said in court and transcribed, word for word, by the court reporters.

*Spew Warning! Do not drink or eat while reading this. *g*

Ready? ...

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what way does it affect your memory?
A: I forget
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't
know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes
Q: And what were you doing at the time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning persuant to a depostition notice which I
sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All you responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8.30pm.
Q: And Mr Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an Autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.

hee!